I feel most comfortable working from the inside out rather than the outside in. This results in work that often reflects the release of imagery stored in my head as a result of living and working in the city of Cleveland. It's like scraping and cleaning out the characters and scenes that have been visually collected over time, coalescing with each other, until they are released in some hybrid form into my artwork, much like how dreams reflect unusual outputs created by bizarre combinations of real and "unreal" experiences. I pay much attention to line in my work, and have been influenced greatly by my hunger and experience in life drawing. I have liked to draw since I can remember, and while I enjoy exploring other art forms like painting and sculpture, I am still most at home when drawing.
I do not try to communicate underlying messages, but rather wish the viewer to discover his/her own connection and interpretation of my work. I usually don't set out knowing exactly what my work is going to look like, but am most comfortable watching where my hands take me - much like getting into a trance. I am not interested in changing what art "means" or fitting into some kind of cultural or "style" category, but strive to follow my internal guidance, and my feelings. If other people end up liking my work, it's an added bonus. I am not saying this is the best and only way to approach creation - it's just the way I work and produce best, and I've discovered through my own experience that my work speaks most clearly when I let it speak on its own. I don't know how people go through 4 or 5 years of art school. I really admire people who can, and sometimes wish I had, but at this point if I were to try to re-enter the academic world, it would be to study something other than art.
I experience anxiety, fear, and panic attacks, and I think it is evident in much of my work. It saddens me when people have a negative reaction to some of the intensity portrayed in my anxiety-influenced drawings, but I have also found a lot of people that not only understand it, and have felt some sort of comfort in it. It seems as though anxiety problems are becoming a growing part of our society as a whole, I never would have imagined that it affects so many people.
I spend a lot of time in solitude, with my creations as my only companions, when others spend the day with co-workers. Sometimes others perceive this solitary creation as depressing or weird. Sometimes it is, but I think my previous work in a factory and driving cab was much more depressing and weird! I am now happily married and content, and it took me a very long time to figure out how to get to a place where I did not have to wake up at 4:30am to go to the factory, but to trust my creativity and to find my living through my artwork. In some ways it's more difficult and unpredictable, but I find it much more rewarding, and it seems to be working well enough. Many people do not understand that the work involved is equally, if not more time consuming, than going to a daily "job," but the rewards are so much greater. The best advice I could give to others who wish to pursue their dreams is follow your feelings and listen to yourself, and when you LET it "happen", it happens much sooner.
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